Here's what we learned we Do Not like to see, smell or hear while at the beach.
#1 - Babies crying. I know. We weren't on an airplane or other confined space so it wasn't that bad. Unless you are me in which case it was awful. The poor sad baby hated the beach or the wind or the stroller or the front pack or the sibling or the sound of waves or the sound of dogs or the smell of campfire smoke. I do not know what was making that baby cry (for hours). Worse, the Mom didn't seem to know either. If it had been a plane, I would have taken the baby & tried to figure it out. Marching across a football field length of sand to ask a stranger if I could make her baby stop crying seemed like a bad idea. Here's my tip - no matter how much your other kids are enjoying the sand (or the cliff, see #2), no matter how far you drove to get to the beach or the pain in the rear it was to pack for the day, please leave if it makes your baby freak out. Not because your crying baby was making me have anxiety and/or a broken heart but because it's clear that the situation is not working for your baby and you should listen to what your baby is trying to tell you.
#2 - If my 14 year old son (yes, male child), notices when your children are running around in a potentially dangerous situation unattended and feels like he should intervene, you might be neglecting to properly supervise your children. Males are not really known for noticing when small people are doing something they ought not be doing. (For instance, the time a 2 year old wandered into our house & my son sent him back out of the house in the same unattended state he arrived in.) Ever been to a NorCal beach? Cliffs. Big ones. I get that little boys should be able to run free but I think that should end at the bottom of a cliff. We watched 2 little boys, under 4 years old, climb up and down the cliff, for a good portion of the day. Since our EZ-up was blocking the view of the parents of the kids, I know that they couldn't see them. Not to mention the fact that there was an ocean there. If teenage boys are worried about your kids' safety, you're not paying attention.
#3- Chain smoking is bad for you - even outside. Chain smoking exactly upwind from me is rude and annoying. Worse, chain smoking while knowing your smoke is flying directly into my face & then smirking about it is more annoying and even ruder.
#4 - Making a fire on the beach is sometimes against the rules. Check the rules about making fires before you light a giant smoking mess. I guess smoke of various sorts doesn't bother you (see #3), but it bothers me & all of the other people that your smoke was trying to suffocate. When people break out their inhalers in clear view of you and your smoking mess, maybe you should move said smoking mess to the side where there aren't a ton of people. But smirking about it is, this is redundant, rude and annoying. How you know that you were out of line is when the older person of your party returns and tells you to move your smoking mess away from the rest of us.
#5 - Are you an idiot? Here is what we overheard in relation to a sign about fire danger. "Fire danger must be really high. It is a 7 out of a 4." Uh, what that actually means is that the date the sign is referring to is July (7) Fourth (4). Fire danger is never listed in the form of an improper fraction. I'm guessing that you do not know what an improper fraction is.
#6 - A beach populated with children is not a good place for you to lay completely on top of another person, top to bottom. No matter how cold you are. Bring a sweatshirt next time.
#7 - Here's another tip when going to the beach. Bring a bathing suit. Or extra clothes. Or wear underwear that are a dark color if you plan on wearing them in the water. (Please don't plan on wearing your underwear in the water. Please.) Tightie whities are not appropriate swim wear. (Poking my mind's eye out right now. Again.) I can do better. I took a picture. It has to be deleted from iphoto right away which is pretty much why I'm writing this blog today. I've been threatened with the deletion of the photo sooner rather than later. Just be glad that I didn't crop it and make that guy in his see through underwear any closer to your eyes.
#8 - There are leash laws. I know, I know. Your dog is your baby or whatever. Do you let your human baby run around pooping on the sand and eating random stranger's food off of their plates? I hope not. Leash laws apply to small dogs as well as big dogs. Some kids are afraid of dogs. Some people are allergic to dogs. Letting them run around while you sit on your fat a**, is well....rude and annoying. And potentially dangerous. Of course your baby would never bite anyone but just in case someone else's baby might bite your baby could you please keep your baby under control? The only thing that made it bearable is that your babies ate the food off of the plates of #4. All of that smoke making just went to feed your baby. I hope your little furry, sandy, unmannered baby isn't allergic to shrimp.
If only I could come up with a #9 and #10. Maybe they should be What To Do at a Public Beach.
#9 - Think about the comfort and enjoyment of other people as much as you think about your own comfort and enjoyment.
#10- Watch your kids. The furry and non-furry. The ocean and its cliffs can be dangerous. Also, some of us can't help but watch and worry about your kids. See #9.
PS - When the kids around you have spent an entire day digging holes and trenches in the sand, you may want to watch where you are going when playing catch. I would feel badly about that except your little furry babies were....rude and annoying.
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