In Laws - What's the Deal?

As usual, this has been ricocheting around my brain for awhile. I figured while I'm sitting here feeling useless, I'll put it on paper. Or whatever this is.
First of all, we didn't have in law fighting when I was growing up. My Dad's parents were sailing around the world & otherwise adventuring. So holidays were a pretty done deal. No going to this house & then that house & worrying about how long we spent with who or which grandparents gave us which presents. (Like my Mom would have tolerated that anyway. We would have been smacked upside our heads.) Even if my Dad's parents were around (or when), we would have all just been together anyway because my Dad's parents & my Mom's parents were friends from Way Back. (Pretty sure 3 out of the 4 are partying it up in Heaven right now.) Both of my Grandma's would have given you the shirt off of their back. Literally. And I'm thinking that they did a million times over their lives. They also would just invite you in, open up another can of whatever to make dinner serve more people and expect everyone to join in the merriness.  I think my point is, I have no example of In Law Hating. (Or general people hating.)
I've been married for a Really Long Time. I think I'll just go with over 20 years. (Old, old, old....) My In Laws live far away. That makes for some pretty peaceful interactions, really. But that's not the reason that I don't hate them. There's time when I wonder What the Heck?! some of them were thinking and they live a completely different life style than we do. So freaking what? Here are the important things about my In Laws (through my marriage).
1) They love my husband and took care of him while he was growing up.
2) They love my kids.
3) They welcome us all with open arms and hearts when we visit.
4) They would totally have our backs at any point if we needed them to.
5) They genuinely find joy in my kids.

Is there something else that they're supposed to do? I've felt welcome in that family since I was 16. I'm pretty sure that I have a nickname that they won't disclose. (They give every one nicknames- some good & some bad. They say I don't have one.) I have cried for their pain & laughed with them until I cried. They've annoyed me a few times & pissed me off a couple of times. Both for about 30 seconds because whatever it was that annoyed me just wasn't worth holding onto. Even if they hated my guts & gave me a really mean nickname (which maybe I have - just sayin'), they love my husband and they love my kids so NOTHING ELSE SHOULD MATTER.

Now for the other kind of In Laws. The kind that married my siblings. We went to Azzi's 4th Bday party the other day. My SIL's entire family was also there. Sort of a family reunion. You know what is awesome? We all love Azzi & had a party together. My kids love Renee's little brother & had fun with him. But they've been having fun with Renee's little brothers for years. Renee's family is fun & kind. We blend well but you know what's actually important? Renee loves my brother. She is a fantastic mom of my nieces. She loves my kids. Is there more?

My Tate has a best friend. His best friend is his cousin Adler. Adler is far away right now but it doesn't seem to matter much to his perception of Best Friend. I'm not sure that these little kids know the difference between Friend and Cousin because to them they are the same. Adler's Dad is awesome. I mean, he's Josh so... By the time that kid was in 4th grade, girls were asking me "Oooohhhhh. Are you Josh Matson's sister?" Luckily for Adler & Cooper, they have an equally awesome Mom. And we can hang out with her family, too. It's easy to do if you just realize that you all love the same people. Again, the most important thing about Honi to me is that she loves my baby brother and she loves my nephews. And she loves my kids.

You know who my boys also really like to hang out with? MY BIL. He married my sister. That's a lot of pressure. She has 2 older brothers, plus Jake, she's the baby. And she has pretty high expectations, too. He's freaking awesome. I'm not kidding. He's a great example. He puts up with all of our crazy. His family is cool to hang out with, too. When we were in So Cal we went to Disneyland with his brother and his brother's wife. It's weird to try to put labels on these people because we just consider them part of our extended family. I'm sorry to be repetitive but I think it bears repeating. The only important thing to know about Brad is that he loves my sister, he's a fantastic Dad & he loves my kids.

Every family has quirks. There's always someone that is annoying that day or hard to figure out or makes questionable choices or says something mean. There's a lot of stuff that we can put in the way of the really important stuff. Sometimes it is hard to put things into perspective. I get that. What I don't get is not stepping back a couple of steps to gauge what our priorities should be and who are priorities should be.

The other day I called Jake's brother to ask a favor from him for my brother. Not for one second did I think that Jeremy would hesitate to help. And he didn't.

I'm not sure that there are any In Laws here. Just family- in all its crazy, interesting, extended coolness.