I'm a mom. Of five. Over the years, I've been the mom of other peoples kids. Sometimes for a day, sometimes longer, in either case it leaves an emotional mark. My kids are pretty smart, pretty well-behaved and generally kind to others so I guess I'm doing a decent job of that which is most important. The three big kids are adventuring in the world of Real Life. I was recently informed that making decisions is HARD. Yes, it is. Especially those pesky decisions that are going to effect you for the rest of your life. The high schooler is left behind with 2 years to go which is going to be a LONG two years for Mom and Kid. L-O-N-G. And bringing up the tail end, Tate's going into 4th. I've been reminded that 4th grade boys talk about things I don't want to hear about, spend a good amount of time talking back & there are way too many things about pokemon, minecraft and skylanders that I never, ever want to learn.
There are days when I feel like I've got it all under control but those days are just an illusion. It is days like that that trick us in to thinking that we have what it takes and that we know what we're doing. The truth is we don't know what we're doing because we don't know what's around the corner. If there's anything that I have learned over the last year it is that the best laid plans of mice and men do indeed go awry. It's like when the kids are babies and you think that you've got them in a pattern. You think that you might actually get some sleep or that you've turned the corner on -choose one- picky eating, potty training, incessant arguing. Illusion. Next thing you know, there's a stomach flu, ear infection or unexpected guest that wrecks all the progress you think you've made. It's not all bleak. I'm seeing now what those "older moms" always used to say to me. Eventually you will sleep. Eventually you won't have to buy diapers. Just wait until they're teenagers. And young adults, they're a whole new crazy animal. The truth is - time doesn't run out on mothering. It just enters new, interesting and different phases all of the time.
Let's throw in the biggest reason for any illusion of control: Migraines. I saw a neurologist a couple of months ago who said "you have chronic migraines which is not uncommon, you just have a very very bad case." That about sums it up. I have a bad case and the doctors so far have pretty much sucked. |
