June is migraine awareness month. Guess what? I have migraines. Chronic freaking migraines. All of the time, never ending, who knows why or when migraines. When I read about migraines, I find out all kinds of interesting things. As with many things, chronic migraines are extremely isolating. I wasn't always a hermit. I'm not naturally a shut in. So when I read things about other people with the same crazy, jacked up, life altering weirdness that I have, I at least know that other people have become shut ins because of this crap. I'm not the only weak one who can't just put on her big girl panties and get going. Misery loving company and all of that.
I assume that people all know all about migraines. I've answered a few questions lately that seem to refute that assumption. Because June is about migraine awareness & because there are many misconceptions out there, I am going to attempt to add my story. Given the factors that work against me - you know, the migraines, we'll see how that works.
How long have I had migraines? I've had headaches for as long as I can remember. Because I don't always have the typical migraine, I'm not sure when they started. I'm positive that I've had them for at least 15 years. This episode has lasted almost a year. I have had very few pain free days in that time. I have days that are less painful than others. There are days that I can't think, read, look at light or breathe without pain. And there are the moments that we all dread. The onset of the pain that makes you think that it would be ok to die to make it stop. Don't forget all of the other cool things that come with them: aura, nausea, sensitivity to sound & light. I had to stop driving on the way to Tate's Christmas program because the yellow line in the middle of the road turned into a glowing red line. That was something extra special. Usually I just have a narrowing of my visual field.
The last several months have been especially difficult. The daily preventative I had been taking for years just wasn't working. I also was noticing an increase in symptoms other than pain, mostly visual. I've been to a few doctors and tried different medications. I've tried "alternative" treatments. I'm still trying. I've yelled at, cursed at and cried at doctors. I'm still super pissed off at one of them & distrustful of another. I know I have to deal with it because my pain level right now is about a 5 but I mostly just want to stick my head under my pillow because I am so TIRED. Bone deep tired all of the time. The doctor I cursed at told me it's because chronic pain is exhausting on the body. But he didn't really have a solution for the pain. I bet you can't guess what drove me to scream and cuss at him. Oh, and wait until I get to the side effects of the medications I am taking. My big toe is tingling in anticipation.
This blog post has taken me so much longer than it should have. It has been interrupted by an ice pack on my head and slowed as only topamax can slow down someone's brain.
Migraines....they're not just headaches & I wish excedrin would stop saying that they are.
It's a curse! I'm so sorry- I have recently found some relief from a concoction of prescription medications ( prescribed by my Dr), but the side effects 😲 . Although I'd take them over the migraines any day....
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