Circus Pew - Complete with Flying Monkeys

I've often wondered why the elderly choose to sit in the back of a congregation at church. Usually those of us who are toting children sit in the back out of necessity. We're either late or planning the easiest escape route with the screaming/crying/in trouble/has to pee kid. Today at church we ended up in the very back. On the pew in front of us were some older couples, none accompanied by children and some sporting hearing aids. As we filed in to the pew, I thought to myself "oh, dear. We are about to ruin these nice people's experience today." At first, it wasn't that bad. Tanner, Chloe, Tate & I sat down but then came the rest of our group. Anna, Brad, Ry & Carter. Dan, Renee & Azzi. Kaleb squeezed in. For those keeping track that's 5, 4, 2, & 1 year olds. Tate was mad because I told him to be reverent and sit still. We traded laps throughout the meeting. I had Azzi for a bit & then Carter for a bit. There were crayons, fruit snacks, cars, string cheese & whatever else we could dig out of 3 different bags to keep them from yelling at us. Carter kicked the guy in front of us a few times from my lap. Azzi wandered around a bit. Tate pouted. I doubt that the hearing impaired people in front of us heard 1/3 of what was said from the pulpit. They for sure heard a lot of "SHHHH" "that's not for babies" "Sssshhhhhhh" "this isn't a play area" and "it's not play time right now".  Circus. At some point when Tate was mad he threw his plastic monkey up it to the congregation. Yep, flying monkey. I didn't even see it happen but he informed me that he had thrown it because he wanted me to find his lost monkey. Probably trying to be optimistic, I looked behind us where there wasn't enough room for very many more people. Tate said he threw it the other way. Great, up into the crowd. So at some point during the meeting some poor unsuspecting person probably got nailed by a small plastic monkey. I suppose it's a good thing that we never found the monkey because I would have had to admit that my kid is the one that threw it during church. I really hope that when I'm going to church without kids, I choose to sit closer to the front rather than in the back where all of the kids are. Unless I don't want to hear what's being said from the pulpit or feel the urge to sit in a zone where a flying monkey may hit me at any time.